Pretty Little Pills

Since I first started writing in this blog, the posts have come easily. I come home from the hospital at night, and no matter how tired I am, the words pour out. I can give you all an update with (what I think is) a touch of humor. Tonight I just don't know where to start. I'm so very tired and had considered skipping writing tonight, but I just can't let our adoring fans down. So I'm going to do my best, but please forgive me if this isn't the best entry. I will however, start out with a fun story.

Originally when I took the photo you see in today's post, I had also taken a video. I lost the video somehow though, so I'll just have to tell you what he said in it. (Not that you probably would have been able to hear him anyway.) He gave his message with no smile and told you all that his captors were keeping him comfortable and not to try to find him... that would only make things worse. So he's pretending that he's a POW in this picture. Thus the sour puss. He's really not as miserable as he seems. Just thinking he's funny.

A quick fact since you're all staring at Jerid's half-naked body:

Jerid has been wondering for years why he has such a big belly. Of course he hates it and has come to live with it, but just couldn't figure out why he couldn't get it to go away. Especially when it's not like he's a particularly fat person. Well, we learned today that over the last few years, with his enlarged spleen and bad liver, his body has been creating a larger cavity to compensate. It may take a few years, but eventually his body will readjust and he can go back to his original six-pack. He actually did have one... it was just acquired from all of the coughing over the years. So, he's happy.

Today was another not so good day. It's not that anything is going wrong, but Jerid's just having a hard time mentally. A lot of things could be causing this. He's on a very strong dose of steroids, he's on a continual dose of narcotics, he's not eating properly, not sleeping properly, is extremely scared that something may go wrong and is in pain. How could you expect to be in a good mind set? Even so, it's hard to watch. This is not the Jerid that I know. He's very anxious that something bad is happening and is scared to start physical therapy. We've been talking and talking about it these last couple of days. I keep explaining that everything is going well. But he just doesn't listen to me or the doctors. I was so concerned today, and reaching the point of utter exhaustion when I think we had a break-through. Jerid finally broke down and had a little panic attack. Once that happened, he was able to voice some of the things that have been concerning him and we could understand a little better what was going on in his head. Well, sort of, given all the drugs. Once I knew where he was coming from and what was at the root of the problem, I could finally figure out a way to help.

First thing we did was get him a pretty little pill: Zanex. For those who know me well, you know that I do love my Zanex. It's gotten me through a couple of rough times recently. Then I was able to sit down and go over all the progress that Jerid has made so far with him and assure him that things WILL get better. He seemed to believe me and we both felt more positive.

Updates:

We spoke with the Infectious Disease doctor and she said that we will know more about the bacteria in Jerid's blood tomorrow, but that things still look OK.

The physical therapist came to see Jerid and has hopefully convinced him that all will be OK and that we will start out with baby steps. (And I'm not gonna lie- he's very handsome and I won't mind seeing him everyday:)

Still no Rice Krispies, but now that's OK because the Speech Therapist doctor said that those would be dangerous to eat with the swallowing issues. They are seriously considering injecting Jerid's right vocal cord with fat to plump it up and help with not only his voice, but make it easier to make a more productive cough. Apparently this is very common.

We saw a liver surgeon and her 5 residents (just like Grey's Anatomy) today. She said that Jerid's new liver is doing AWESOME.

Jerid got 2 of his 3 drainage bulbs out today. They are thinking they may remove 2 of the for tubes tomorrow. This will make him much more mobile.

No sign of Captain Crazy Pants today. I really missed him. I could have used a laugh.

I think that's it for today. I left Jerid sleeping (hopefully peacefully in a pretty little pill haze) tonight with a positive outlook for tomorrow. I know that as exhausted as I am tonight, I can go to the hospital in the morning with high hopes that it will be a good day.

Also, I can't explain to you what a wonderful feeling it is to come home to a loving family. They listen with genuine concern to the day's issues and offer wisdom and hugs and kisses. And dinner. What an amazing blessing.

On to my thank you speech for the day. Thank you Lara for cleaning my bathroom and kitchen and vacuuming on Saturday. Thank you Adrienne for cleaning out my refrigerator and the scary things that were living and probably walking around in there. Thank you Rachel and Jennie for braving my bedroom... the last room in my house to ever get cleaned. And Rachel for doing my laundry. Thank you mommy G for going over and working with my girls. And thanks to Uncle John and the boys for outside work. The last 6 months have been insane and it has taken it's toll on my house. As embarrassed as I am for you to see the state it was in, I know that when I come home, I will be so happy and grateful to be in a clean house. You are all truly amazing friends. I knew there was a reason I kept you guys around. I love you all.

Thanks also to Terry from Children's Hospital in Columbus for the long chat. I know what a busy woman you are and it meant so much for you to take the time out to not only see how Jerid's doing, but to help me too. It was just what I needed.